Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Michael The Fair And Great

Please tell me your problems so I can laugh at you for being so petty.


Anonymous Colleen Grimmett said...

Dear Michael, the Feral Greeter;
I've been eating taco salad for the past two nights and now I'm having continuous gaseous moments. What can I possibly do to reduce these small house emissions?

-signed, Colleen is Full of Deadly Spirit Breath

11:02 PM  
Blogger Michael The Fair And Great said...

I must suggest you find a crowded elevator, have an emmission then sniff loudly and slowly look around at your fellow elevator riders with an accusing glance to each. I laugh at your petty problem!

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hiya Michael!

I want to know what Elka knows, cause I know she knows far more than I know, and I know hardly anything at all!

thanks, your all not knowing big sissy Kathy

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Wendella said...

This is the best! Where is the ice-cream scoop? As it is that day of the year that I so think of you and your annoying toys ;)

2:26 PM  
Blogger Michael The Fair And Great said...

Hi Kathy, You can learn anything that Elka knows by using the new and improved "Mr. Squeeky-Decider". Bye

3:07 PM  
Blogger Michael The Fair And Great said...

Wendella, you have created a monster. If this is your birthday I hope you hear a voice that says "Happy Birthday too you" over and over

3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG!! That ice cream scoop. Just when I had finally gotten over the nightmares of the laughing clown.....

mean old jennifer

5:50 PM  
Blogger Michael The Fair And Great said...

Alas, poor Mean Old Jennifer, the clown scoop has not gotten over you!

7:21 PM  
Anonymous princess brat (aka pbratty) said...

Dearest Michael The Fair and Great,
I have this problem with one giant ruby that keeps falling out of my crown every time my minions kiss my ring. What vexes me so is that I have no one to fetch it for me and am constantly replacing it. It is costing me a fortune.

My question is simple: do you think it is possible that Macy and Elka are behind the loosening of my jewels? I hear they've been drinking Goldschlager and bathing in Channel No.5 like there's no tomorrow and I fear they may be selling my rubies on ebay for pennies on the pound!

1:39 AM  
Blogger Michael The Fair And Great said...

Dear Princess B,

That might explain the sign I found with "Will trade rubys for food" written in lipstick.

Might I suggest that you wear the Emerald and Yellow diamond tiara when you must mingle mungst minions?

I feel that your problems are petty and scoff at you for even asking.

10:49 AM  

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